Are we remembering to meet children's physical needs to prevent behaviour issues?
Babies and toddlers can't easily communicate their physical needs. Sometimes we're not as tuned in as we should be and we don't make the connection between how children are feeling and how they are behaving.
Today was a predicted 27 degrees outside, and inside the children's bags I found beanies, long-sleeved bodysuits, jumpers and jackets. Children can get overheated easily. I recently saw a toddler outside in the playground red-faced, and pushing and hitting other children. It didn't occur to anyone that she might be too hot. I got a cup of water and she turned into a different child. Today a child bit another child. I'd bite someone too if I was wearing a jumper on a 27 degree day.
Before you tell a child off for negative behaviour stop and think for a minute whether they have any physical needs that need to be addressed. Are they tired, hungry, thirsty, frustrated, cold, hot, wet, teething, feeling unwell etc.?
This goes for older children too. Sometimes they are shy or too intimidated by adults to ask to have their needs met. We need to ask them if they're okay. We like to feel comfortable and we meet our own needs to make sure that we usually are. Children want to feel comfortable too but they rely on us.
Wednesday 28 November 2012
Friday 23 November 2012
Toilet Training
Have you thought about how you're toilet training?
I've often heard people say, "It's time for you to go to the toilet now" or "come and sit on the potty". The child doesn't want to sit on the potty. He/she knows that they don't need to go. Forcing them often results in crying, screaming, kicking, the child being forced to sit on the toilet with no result, and often an accident occuring on the floor half an hour later. The child starts to hate the potty which delays his/her toilet training.
Toilet training means teaching children to recognize their own need to go to the toilet and to be able to physically hold it until they get there. First of all don't start before they are ready. They need to have developed the particular muscles and the ability to control them. They need to have the cognitive capacity to understand the cause and effect involved. They need to be emotionally developed enough to want to take care of their own physical needs rather than relying on having them taken care of the way a baby does.
After you've introduced them to the potty or toilet and they've shown that they understand how to use it, ask them if they need to go to the toilet. Ask them every hour if necessary. If they say "no" don't insist that they sit anyway. Respect their ability to recognize their bodily needs. Soon they will be telling you when they need to go.
This is toilet training, so expect accidents. If there were no accidents it would mean that they were already trained. Respond to accidents sensitively. Children don't want to feel like they have failed when they're learning a new skill. Simply clean the child and the floor and go on with the day. In an hour ask them if they need to do a wee. If they are successful, say "well done, you did a wee on the toilet". Don't use rewards for sitting on the potty. They will want to sit there all day. Especially avoid using rewards for producing something on the potty. If they don't need to go, they don't need to go!
(Don't agree - no problem! I just want to encourage you to reflect on your practice :)
I've often heard people say, "It's time for you to go to the toilet now" or "come and sit on the potty". The child doesn't want to sit on the potty. He/she knows that they don't need to go. Forcing them often results in crying, screaming, kicking, the child being forced to sit on the toilet with no result, and often an accident occuring on the floor half an hour later. The child starts to hate the potty which delays his/her toilet training.
Toilet training means teaching children to recognize their own need to go to the toilet and to be able to physically hold it until they get there. First of all don't start before they are ready. They need to have developed the particular muscles and the ability to control them. They need to have the cognitive capacity to understand the cause and effect involved. They need to be emotionally developed enough to want to take care of their own physical needs rather than relying on having them taken care of the way a baby does.
After you've introduced them to the potty or toilet and they've shown that they understand how to use it, ask them if they need to go to the toilet. Ask them every hour if necessary. If they say "no" don't insist that they sit anyway. Respect their ability to recognize their bodily needs. Soon they will be telling you when they need to go.
This is toilet training, so expect accidents. If there were no accidents it would mean that they were already trained. Respond to accidents sensitively. Children don't want to feel like they have failed when they're learning a new skill. Simply clean the child and the floor and go on with the day. In an hour ask them if they need to do a wee. If they are successful, say "well done, you did a wee on the toilet". Don't use rewards for sitting on the potty. They will want to sit there all day. Especially avoid using rewards for producing something on the potty. If they don't need to go, they don't need to go!
(Don't agree - no problem! I just want to encourage you to reflect on your practice :)
Saturday 17 November 2012
Toddler Biting
Have you thought about how you're handling children who bite?
Being a toddler is frustrating! Toddlers want to try everything. They are up and moving and finding out what their bodies can do. They want to try to do things that may not be safe or that they are not yet capable of. They want to try over and over again until they become competent. Sometimes their physical limitations stop them and sometimes we stop them. Frustration builds inside and they need to release it. Other children are available and before you know it they have reached for the arm, leg, or whatever body part is closest and left teethmarks.
Although not all toddlers bite, biting is a normal behaviour. Toddlers don't want to hurt anyone. Their biting doesn't necessarily have an agressive motive. Their focus is on achieving competence and spending quality time with adults. They want to feel secure while they are going through so many changes. They may not want to have a lot of other children around them all the time. They don't want to have to compete for adult attention. They want acceptance and structure and boundaries.
Try spending as much time as possible with the child. Don't legitimize biting by referring to it by name. Love and laugh, and encourage gentle and caring physical behaviours. Provide a safe environment for the child to test his/her physical capabilties without having to share the space too much. Give a little assistance if the child is becoming frustrated when trying to achieve his/her physical goals.
(Don't agree - that's okay :) Try googling 'toddler biting' and make an informed decision for yourself)
Being a toddler is frustrating! Toddlers want to try everything. They are up and moving and finding out what their bodies can do. They want to try to do things that may not be safe or that they are not yet capable of. They want to try over and over again until they become competent. Sometimes their physical limitations stop them and sometimes we stop them. Frustration builds inside and they need to release it. Other children are available and before you know it they have reached for the arm, leg, or whatever body part is closest and left teethmarks.
Although not all toddlers bite, biting is a normal behaviour. Toddlers don't want to hurt anyone. Their biting doesn't necessarily have an agressive motive. Their focus is on achieving competence and spending quality time with adults. They want to feel secure while they are going through so many changes. They may not want to have a lot of other children around them all the time. They don't want to have to compete for adult attention. They want acceptance and structure and boundaries.
Try spending as much time as possible with the child. Don't legitimize biting by referring to it by name. Love and laugh, and encourage gentle and caring physical behaviours. Provide a safe environment for the child to test his/her physical capabilties without having to share the space too much. Give a little assistance if the child is becoming frustrated when trying to achieve his/her physical goals.
(Don't agree - that's okay :) Try googling 'toddler biting' and make an informed decision for yourself)
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