Kids just wanna have fun

Apparently children love to help. 

On the last day of work we were working like maniacs to clean every inch of our room, toys, furniture, walls, yard etc. There was no point feeling guilty about the lack of attention we were giving the children because there are only so many hours in a day and what has to be done, has to be done. In the process of cleaning we made a lot of mess, so the children were left to fend for themselves amongst a sprawling display of Duplo, instruments, and random plastic toys laid out on the floor. The Duplo was left because they insisted on us leaving it, the instruments because despite my loathing of noise they continue to bash away at them at all hours of the day, and the random toys because who knew what to do with them. It was easier to just tip them out onto the floor. 

I asked the children if they'd like to wash some toys, thinking they'd love it. Water is involved, and when you don't want them to play with it (like in the middle of winter) they always find a way to sneak away and do it. We had small success with several children who managed to wash some toys for a matter of minutes, but most remained uninterested. "You can get wet!" I said, hoping the others would like to help. "You can get as wet as you want, it's hot!", I said to no avail. So we continued to clean like maniacs while they continued to play happily with the sprawling mess on the floor. 

At one point I looked over and saw about eight children sitting in groups of twos or threes completely involved in constructing with Duplo. "Look how engaged they are!" I said to someone. It never ceases to amaze me how they can engage themselves with so little, so I'm constantly annoying people by mentioning it. Afterall children aren't supposed to be able to do that these days. And Duplo? I would have thought they'd be beyond that at four years old. With the exception of one particular helper who was washing toys for me at 5.30 that afternoon, most of the children continued to play, making as much mess as they could get away with until their parents took them home and left us to clean more. 

Kids just wanna have fun, and who can blame them? They'll be working for the rest of their lives. And how cute are they when they're engaged in play and oblivious to everything around them? And who says they should be playing with something more complex then Duplo at four years old? Maybe they loved being able to play on the floor and not being told to keep the toys on the table. And what if they bash away at instruments with big grins on their faces when we want peace and quiet and get all wet in the middle of winter? We can only attempt to control their instincts to do whatever it is they want. Kids just wanna have fun, (and remember) it's only kindergarten. 

Vive la difference

The world turns on the fact that we are all different. 

So why are we trying to fix children? I understand the reason. We want to set our children up to meet every challenge and achieve every success in life. We want to make sure that every trait that could potentially hinder a child from sailing through life is stopped in its tracks, boosted, scaffolded, curbed, hidden or fixed. It puts us under a lot of pressure as educators. On a personal level having someone even suggest that the children I care for are anything less than beautiful and perfect exactly how they are affects me deeply. What's worse it places their parents in positions of self-doubt, worry and blame that are probably unnecessary and unfounded.

How do we know that these differences are liabilities? They are traits. They are what makes us who we are. Every trait exists on a continuum which I like to imagine as being a set of scales, with the positive benefits of a particular trait on one side and the potential liabilities on the other. An artist may be overly sensitive which may sometimes be a liability, but this same trait enables him to create art. An engineer may be seen as slightly lacking in empathy, but this same objectivity is vital to her job. The road to self improvement is paved with good intentions, but are we trying to improve ourselves into a society of clones?

Children develop at different rates in different areas. As long as they are developing within a range that is considered normal there shouldn't be cause for concern. We should be giving them all the love we can, the opportunities we can, and the experiences we can. We should be giving them the support, respect and boundaries that they need to feel secure, independent and strong, then we should be able to sit back and watch them flourish. They have been born with all the internal motivations, drives and tools that they need. Our job is to provide them with an environment that enables them to confidently access them.

Celebrate the difference! Happiness may not come from success, but may come from being able to be who we truly are, to be able to use our traits to fully express ourselves, to make our own choices, and to make a difference in people's lives. Every child is beautiful and perfect and shouldn't be under any pressure to compete with others or perfect themselves. Early childhood is a time for children to learn, explore, innocently express themselves without self-consciousness, and to give and receive love without limits. Let's let this happen.